That’s No Earthquake, It’s Shakespeare Rolling In His Grave

We’re ready to use the fire pit, thanks to cleanup.

We’re nicely settled in. Beth has painted all but one room, while I’ve helped hang pictures, quilt racks, etc. My major efforts have gone toward clearing the twenty or so feet of jungle at the back of the property. Our neighbor showed us a piece of what I’m now calling ‘Demon Vine,’ but research reveals it to be Asiatic Bittersweet ( Some of the vines I’ve cut have been two inches in diameter. Diligent sawing and clipping has revealed several large oak trees, one spruce, a pine and a huge maple that toppled across the property line a few years back. When the job is finished, there should be room for at least two plum trees and a small raspberry patch.

Some of the flowers we’ve added. There’s a wonderful greenhouse 4 miles up the road.

While I work, my mind tends to wander in odd directions and the result is a slightly offbeat offering this time around. It got its start when my friend Tim Hallinan challenged his facebook friends to come up with the worst song ever. Trust me, the list was extensive and funny as hell. It got me thinking about the possibilities inherent in theatrical mashups, blending two plays together and how the result might be described. Keep in mind this list is far from inclusive and would probably be different in a week. That’s the fun nature of creativity. I invite you to submit your own creations in the comments section.

Some of the freshly cut vine still hanging.

A Midsummer Night’s Cat on a Tin Roof: Cleo, A Maine Coon Cat, tires of being a mouser on a rural farm and hitches a ride with an unsuspecting trucker driving a load of milk to New York City. This is the story of his rise to stardom as lead in an off-Broadway meowsical.

A Streetcar Named The Glass Menagerie: If you thought Oh, Calcutta was risque, you’re in for a big awakening when you see this musical comedy about a bunch of San Francisco exhibitionists who ride all night in a brightly lit see-through trolley car

Caucasian Chalk School for Scandal: What happens when a bunch of merry pranksters invade a school for mimes in oh so proper Omaha, Nebraska? Buy tickets and find out.

Hedda Gabler and the Man: Granddaughter of the original Hedda, This heroine is much cooler, hip even. She’s of mixed race and just graduated from John Jay College with a degree in criminology. Eager to take on the bad guys, this drama is the story of her first year as an undercover narc in Wilkes-Barre, PA.

Inherit the Little Shop of Horrors: What might have happened if William Jennings Bryan had realized there was more to life than ‘crosses of gold’ and monkey trials. Imagine him discovering he’s just inherited the funkiest flower shop in Peoria, Illinois. Plan a night at the theater and watch the fun begin.

Our place from the back

Long Day’s Journey Into A Comedy of Errors: What happens when an about to retire bus driver reluctantly agrees to take the worst class of seniors ever graduating from Sister Jon Damian High School on their class trip. Little does he know that Scad Pritchert, the worst of the lot, has reprogrammed the GPS on the bus, setting them on a course for Death Valley instead of San Diego.

Master Harold and the Boys Look Back in Anger: Headmaster of an isolated seminary in the Cascade Mountains, Harold Winert, lets his guard down when one of his seminarians breaks open a barrel of sacred brandy, intended for rescue dogs to carry in little casks during the upcoming winter. It’s been a cold, gloomy and cruel fall, leaving him embittered and second guessing his entire life. Once the brandy begins flowing, everyone starts lamenting their lot and by the time the brandy is gone, the talk and emotional climate are beyond scary.

Much Ado About The Cherry Orchard: Remember Heckel and Jeckle? Few knew they were originally from Russia and far from ordinary avians. This is a dark comedy about their relatives who not only are able to think and plan, they can see in the dark. When they plot to strip the famed St. Olaf cherry orchard over a weekend, the results are unexpected and extremely funny. Who knew fruit on the tree could induce hysterics?

No Exit, Oklahoma: Existentialism in Muskogee? Who knew. This tragedy is the story of what happens when Jean Paul Sartorial, fresh from deputy training in Elk City, OK, tries to bring law and order to Broken Arrow. The results are cringeworthy, but a must-see night of theater.

She Stoops to Conquer Angels in America: What happens when Betsy Devos tries to eliminate sex education from the San Francisco area school districts? Imagine Hair meets The Tight White Collar on the way to Woodstock and you’d be close. Dress casual if planning to attend because this has become a fast favorite of The Rocky Horror Picture Show fans.

Six Characters in Search of The Merry Wives of Windsor: After waiting decades to be let loose, August Pindar’s creations are ready to Paaarty. So, it seems are Shakespeare’s ladies. Expect the unexpected when you find your seat.

Six Degrees of A Chorus Line: What happens when the stars of a Broadway musical are offered free DNA testing by an anonymous benefactor. The results are relatively hilarious and completely unexpected, Performances change nightly.

The Taming of the Playboy of the Western World: What happens when People Magazine’s most eligible bachelor falls under the spell of the world’s most powerful dominatrix? Well, let’s just say that whips, chains, lots of chocolate syrup and whipped cream are involved. If planning on attending, bring your imagination, but leave any prudery at home.

Now it’s your turn to fire up the creative juices.

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2 Responses to That’s No Earthquake, It’s Shakespeare Rolling In His Grave

  1. Thanks, John. This is just what we need this morning. A smile.

  2. Anonymous says:

    If it weren’t so early, I would attempt one. Maybe a mashup of theater and musical, Teahouse of the Magic Flute. A hipster tea place in Brooklyn de ides to add marijuana to their offerings. When a musician imbibes, strange music follow.


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