Kaitlyn Dunnett/Kathy Lynn Emerson here. Back in 2017 I wrote a post here at Maine Crime Writers titled “Friends Around the World” about the many pen pals I had as a girl and the fact that letter-writing has gone out of style in this century (if not before). Some things available today promote more communication. Cyberspace provides a connection to friends and strangers alike and e-mail and messaging allow relationships to develop on a more personal level. We can even talk face-to-face using cameras built into PCs, laptops, phones, iPads, and other devices.

Back in the 1950s and early 1960s the options were pretty much limited to talking on the telephone or writing letters. I’m not sure how I acquired my first pen pal, but I know there were pen pal sections in many publications, printing names and addresses of people looking for people to write to in other countries. One of those publications was a comic book I read regularly about a young model named Katy Keene. I wrote to one of the addresses in the pen pal section, possibly in Australia, and in time a letter came back. The person who originally advertised for a pen pal had done so several years earlier and was now quite a bit older than I was but she passed my letter on to a younger friend and I corresponded with that girl for a number of years afterward.

Looking back, memory faulty and the actual letters long gone, I don’t know what I wrote to various pen pals or, for the most part, what they wrote to me. I hope I didn’t inadvertently insult anyone. Certainly there were cultural differences that surprised me. My pen pal in Singapore, Vivien Yeo, wrote to tell me of her marriage . . . at thirteen. It was arranged by her parents. Hannelore Weiss, in Germany, sent me picture postcards . . . of buildings my father knew from first-hand experience had been bombed during World War II. Then there was Sonoko Mitsufuji (I think that’s the correct spelling but I won’t swear to it) from Japan. Her much older brother paid a visit to the U.S. during the time we were corresponding and stayed with us. My father took him to a Rotary Club meeting.

I wish I still had those letters. If any of them sent me photos of themselves, those are long gone too. Sadly, so are most of their names. If I could remember more, given today’s technology, I might be able to reconnect with a few of my pen pals. There was Heather. Was she from Australia or New Zealand? I had a pen pal in each country. There was Carole from Bristol, England. I thought of her the first time I visited Great Britain at age twenty, but by then I’d already forgotten her last name and street address. My pen pal in India was a boy. He asked me to trace my feet and send the tracing to him. Nothing kinky. A few months later he sent me a pair of shoes and I sent back a photo of me wearing them.

In college and after I exchanged regular letters with family, in particular my parents and grandfather. Later we kept in touch with college and Navy friends by exchanging annual Christmas letters. That, too, has gone by the wayside. For one thing, I realized that mine ended up being the same letter with different book titles to reflect the current year’s work. We lead very dull lives.

I love getting newsy letters (or e-mails) but these days I have a hard time thinking of anything to write back. I have one friend who sends e-cards for every possible occasion. I like knowing she’s still around but for some reason receiving these always makes me feel guilty that I don’t do a better job of keeping in touch.

So, a question for those of you reading this: do you still write letters (or e-mails) to friends and/or family, or has that form of communication been replaced by shorter forms like posting on Facebook and Messenger? Inquiring minds want to know.

Kathy Lynn Emerson/Kaitlyn Dunnett has had sixty-four books traditionally published and has self published others. She won the Agatha Award and was an Anthony and Macavity finalist for best mystery nonfiction of 2008 for How to Write Killer Historical Mysteries and was an Agatha Award finalist in 2015 in the best mystery short story category. In 2023 she won the Lea Wait Award for “excellence and achievement” from the Maine Writers and Publishers Alliance. She was the Malice Domestic Guest of Honor in 2014. She is currently working on creating new editions of her backlist titles. Her website is www.KathyLynnEmerson.com.