How I Learned to Stop Pantsing and Get Words on the Page

You could say I’ve been at this game a long time. My first publication credits were in teen magazines in the late 1960s. My first traditionally published book was released in 2014. Since that time, I’ve published two additional books. One traditionally, one independently. Can you understand why, when I sit down to write, my brain screams AMATEUR.

The lack of production isn’t due to a lack of ideas. I have those in abundance. Nor is it because of a lack of skill, or so I’ve been told. That’s a judgment I hesitate to make on my behalf. And there have been lots of short stories, essays, and non-fiction articles over the years. So, you might wonder, what’s the problem? Time was part of it. Until 2020, I held a full-time job that often required twelve-hour days, seven days a week. But hey, this is 2026, and I’ve only published one book in all that time. Ah, therein lies the rub.

In a ‘just the facts, Ma’am’ synopsis, here’s the deal. I’m a SLOOOOOOW writer. Except I’m not. That full-time job I mentioned above was in the legal biz. Part of my role entailed writing pleadings, deeply researched documents intended to persuade a judge or mediator to see things from our client’s point of view, often written on a twenty-four-hour deadline. It was intense, and it had to be fast, detailed, and defensible. Twenty-page documents flowed effortlessly from my fingers in the space of four hours. If my attorney was driving, I often had the outline banged out before we returned from court.

Did you hear that loud screeching sound? In my creative writing life, I’m what’s known as a pantser or discovery writer. In my legal life, I was an outliner, and it made an enormous difference. Given the nature of the work, my outlines were bullet-point highlights, not a hard and fast roadmap. They told the story of what, not the how of achieving our client’s desired result. The how came in the drafting based on documents, case law, and statutes. Dry stuff? No. There’s still a lot of creativity involved. Facts are facts, but the role of the pleading is to make them compelling enough that the conclusion is inevitable. Honestly, it was a lot of fun, but it wasn’t the same as writing a novel.

My idea of writing a novel comprised of throwing my ideas into the air and watching where they landed. Then I’d write from one to the other until the story emerged. That’s a lot of work when you’re writing crime fiction. It’s like managing the reins for a ten-horse team. The writer needs to be in control, but flexible enough to avoid a crash and still arrive at the destination. Then comes the editing. A necessary step in every novel, but an essential one for a discovery writer to move from the first to the second draft.

In the back of my mind, I understood that outlining made my writing life easier. I took several classes about moving from pantser to plotter and read numerous books, too. I learned something from every one of them, but not enough to convert me to the cause. One of my writer friends writes multiple books a year. She credits her outlines for making it possible. Her forty to fifty-page outlines. I tried to emulate her. After all, she had a proven system. The outlining went swimmingly, but the writing, not so much. The story bored me by chapter two. I felt like one of those monkeys writing Shakespeare. I knew too much. Instead of taking the scenic route, I was on the interstate, and nothing much tweaked my interest.

The last book I wrote took two years to write and is currently undergoing edits at the request of a potential publisher. That’s a long time. While the book was on submission, characters from an existing series clamored for new words of their own. Another idea, another plot, another three years. Scary thought. Then my husband bought me a book by K. Stanley and L. Cooke titled Secrets to Outlining a Novel. In his defense, he was tired of hearing me complain. The book reinforced my work-life experience. Outlining matters, but it’s not about the minutiae at this stage. It’s about the main events. The what, not the how. The how comes in the creative process.

I’m still deep in the editing process of one book, but I’m taking baby steps in outlining a new book. So far, it’s going well. If my calculations are correct, I should have the book written and ready for editing by August. Still not fast, but not three years either. I’ll report back.

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Never Finished

the novel I’m currently completely rewriting

Kaitlyn Dunnett/Kathy Lynn Emerson here. Fellow writers—does it ever seem to you as if a writing project is never truly finished? If you have a contract and a deadline, there is a point where you have to say “Enough!” and let the manuscript go. But if you’ve ventured into the Indie field, or have rights back on a previously published book you’ve decided to revise and reissue, getting to that point is a whole lot harder. I’ll probably talk more about fiction at a later date, since revising and reissuing has been my “thing” since I (Hah!) retired a few years back. But today I want to focus on nonfiction, particularly history and biography, where there really is no point where everything is just right and will never need to be updated.

My A Who’s Who of Tudor Women is a perfect example. Boy is it ever! For years I simply posted these mini-biographies at my website and didn’t even attempt a book version. That way I could easily make additions and corrections.

If you’re thinking “It’s history. Facts don’t change.” Think again. New research is being done all the time. Back when I started this project, the concept of Women’s Studies was brand new. Before that all the emphasis in historical research had been on what men contributed. Women barely got a mention and when they did, male scholars often neglected to mention their given names. They were simply the wives or daughters of the important historical figures.

Anyway, things have changed. Digitizing source material made it easier to access. More people, men as well as women, took an interest in the distaff side of history. There was no way I could keep up with every new tidbit of information about the women who had entries in my Who’s Who.

Then came Covid and my realization that I might not be able to keep the webpages going forever. I took the 2300+ entries I had at that point and finally produced an ebook edition. Well, I thought, I can still make changes easily. And I can put up an “additions and corrections” page at the website. Soon, however, there were requests for a print edition. You know this part of the story already. It came out in three huge volumes at the end of last year. But guess what—other writers are still writing new books about the Tudor period and penning biographies of those women whose lives provide enough material for a full-length study. And in every one of those new books, at least one new detail emerges about one of my 2300+ women. Sometimes it just adds information. Sometimes it contradicts what I thought, based on older research, was accurate.

A case in point is a new biography of Anne of Cleves, fourth wife of Henry VIII. I had read only a short way into Accounting for Anne by historian James Taffe, in which he uses Anne’s account books to study her life, when I hit a name, Dorothy Fitzherbert, that sounded familiar. The story of how she had to go to court to enforce her marriage contract with John Wingfield, however, was new to me. Fascinating stuff, but the point is that it’s new information even though it has been around, waiting to be noticed, since the 1540s. I also saw that (oops!) I had assigned John the wrong parentage. Someone else, a reputable scholar, did that first, but still, what’s in my mini-biography of Dorothy is wrong.

There was other “new” stuff in Accounting for Anne too, and I’m talking about just the first third of the book here. I had never seen a list naming the gentlewomen she brought with her from Cleves before. Or how much her English “Mother of Maids” was paid per quarter (£5).

I’ve also recently read a convincing argument for the parentage of one of my favorite Elizabethan figures, Elizabeth’s governess, Katherine Champernowne Astley, written by novelist, Rosemary Griggs, who is working on a biography of Kat Astley. I’d have loved to include her reasoning in Kat’s entry, even though there is no absolute proof it is correct.

The upshot of all this is that the current version of the Who’s Who will have to be the final one . . . but I’ll probably be penciling notes in the margins of my copy till I drop.

Kathy Lynn Emerson/Kaitlyn Dunnett has had sixty-four books traditionally published and has self published others. She won the Agatha Award and was an Anthony and Macavity finalist for best mystery nonfiction of 2008 for How to Write Killer Historical Mysteries and was an Agatha Award finalist in 2015 in the best mystery short story category. In 2023 she won the Lea Wait Award for “excellence and achievement” from the Maine Writers and Publishers Alliance. She was the Malice Domestic Guest of Honor in 2014. She is currently working on creating new editions of her backlist titles. Her website is www.KathyLynnEmerson.com.

AND DON’T FORGET! One lucky Maine Crime Writers reader who leaves a comment on the blog this month will win a bundle of books!

 

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Weekend Update: February 28-March 1, 2026

Next week at Maine Crime Writers there will be posts by Kaitlyn Dunnett/Kathy Lynn Emerson (Monday), Kait Carson (Tuesday), Brenda Buchanan (Thursday) and Jule Selbo (Friday), with a writing tip from Jule Selbo on Wednesday.

In the news department, here’s what’s happening with some of us who blog regularly at Maine Crime Writers:

From Kathy Lynn Emerson: All my ebooks will be on sale at 25% off at Smashwords during the first week in March.

Also, this is a link (gifted, I hope) to an article in the New York Times on the subject I wrote about in my last post: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/02/25/books/review/publishing-scams.html?unlocked_article_code=1.O1A.1NNu._9rJccgB90Q9&smid=url-share

Kate Flora: A bit behind, I know, but our bundle of books winner for January is Janet Anderson-Murch. Janet, please send your snail mail address to me at writingaboutcrime@gmail.com and tell me what type of mystery you prefer.

Matt Cost was excited to submit his final draft of a new series to be published in October of this year by Level Best Books. 1955; A Jazz Jones and January Queen Mystery, takes place in that year in Raleigh, North Carolina. This is the tentative back cover copy.

“Welcome to Antebellum,” the ghoul said. “You are the guest of honor.” Things are not right in 1955, Raleigh, North Carolina, and it will be up to Jazz Jones to get to the bottom of the murk and clear things up.

“You heard about the dead boy?” She had said that her name was January Queen and that she was with the NAACP. Her eyes were a pair of sins, or maybe they just mirrored my own.

“Maybe we came to you,” she said, “because not only are you fair, but you have a firm grasp on what the word justice really means.”

And there it was, I thought. I was being asked to bring the killers to justice and expose the underbelly of seething hatred in my city, even if it meant offending my neighbors and inflaming the ire of otherwise good white folks who just didn’t know any better. And, possibly, break the law along the way. Whatever it took. Even if I had to dig some six-foot-deep holes along the way.

 

An invitation to readers of this blog: Do you have news relating to Maine, Crime, or Writing? We’d love to hear from you. Just comment below to share.

And a reminder: If your library, school, or organization is looking for a speaker, we are often available to talk about the writing process, research, where we get our ideas, and other mysteries of the business, along with the very popular “Making a Mystery” with audience participation, and “Casting Call: How We Staff Our Mysteries.” We also do programs on Zoom. Contact Kate Flora

 

AND DON’T FORGET! One lucky Maine Crime Writers reader who leaves a comment on the blog this month will win a bundle of books!

 

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Melding the Real Now and Fiction by Matt Cost

Writing is often a chance to escape. But, if writing contemporary mysteries and thrillers, wouldn’t it be a crime to erase the world in which the characters are interacting?

I do not get up on a soapbox and preach politics, religion, or social issues. But they do exist. If my goal is to bring the people of the pages to life, well then, these people must have beliefs and opinions. They do not live in a vacuum. The characters need to have passion, to love, to hate, and most of all, to live.

My writing often reflects the issues of the Long Past or the Real Now. In Love in a Time of Hate, I take the reader back to Reconstruction New Orleans. Reconstruction always sounded like too humdrum of a title for an era that was defining, tumultuous, brutal, and chaotic. My novel focuses on the fight for social and economic equality that took place at that time and that place. The book is raw, brutal, and pulls no punches. It was a tough time, and my protagonist, Emmett Collins, is fighting for something worthwhile against forces of hatred and oppression.

 

My contemporary novels, those in the Real Now, take on many social issues. Just a few so far are the impact of Big Pharma, cults, genome editing, Covid, private interest groups, and the separate laws and rules for the ultra-wealthy.

The Not So Merry Adventures of Max Creed has Max and the band taking on a morally corrupt billionaire with aspirations to the presidency with swirling foreign complications. The sequel, EveryThing vs Max Creed, out in May, finds the enemy to be a social media mogul looking to combine his information gathering sites into world domination. Impossible to believe? I think not.

 

I believe that the popular opinion is that writers, much like a Thanksgiving dinner gathering, should avoid pitfalls of social issues, politics, and religion. The opinion of your protagonist promises to alienate half the readers, well, maybe I offend half the people, but I doubt it is half the readers. Still, it is stepping onto a precipice to take a stance with the opinions and values of my protagonist. But how can they be real people of the pages if they don’t have opinions and values?

My current work in progress is tentatively titled Mainely ICEd. You get the gist.

What say you, readers and writers? Would you rather shy away from the Real Now? Or do you feel that the people of the pages resound stronger and with greater impact for having opinions and values?

About the Author

Matt Cost was a history major at Trinity College. He owned a mystery bookstore, a video store, and a gym, before serving a ten-year sentence as a junior high school teacher. In 2014 he was released and began writing. And that’s what he does. He writes histories and mysteries.

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Cost has published six books in the Mainely Mystery series, starting with Mainely Power. He has also published six books in the Clay Wolfe Trap series, starting with Wolfe Trap. There are two books in the Brooklyn 8 Ballo series, starting with Velma Gone Awry. For historical novels, Cost has published At Every Hazard and its sequel, Love in a Time of Hate, as well as I am Cuba. The Not So Merry Adventures of Max Creed began a new series this past April. Glow Trap is his eighteenth published book.

Cost now lives in Brunswick, Maine, with his wife, Harper. There are four grown children: Brittany, Pearson, Miranda, and Ryan. Cost now spends his days at the computer, writing.

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Cabin Fever or What’s Running Through My Head

Vaughn C. Hardacker

Winters up here in The County are long. Here we are near the end of our forth month, with two and a half left to go (I don’t care what some groundhog in Pennsylvania says, his six-week forecast is closer to ten here). Since October, the only time I spend outside is when I use my snowblower to clear the drive and the front walk.

So, you may ask, “How is it that you spend your time?” I read a lot of books (I am nearing the end of book 9 in a 10-book series about the effects of 10 Civil War battles on a Virginia family). I watch sports (I don’t have much interest in television programs, especially series. I don’t want to spend eight weeks watching episodes only to discover I’m on season 1!) If I want that, I’ll start watching the soaps. Tell me a story and finish it!

Unfortunately, my favorite pastime is diving into my head. I contemplate all the crazy shit that bounces off my skull. In a few months, I will complete my seventy-eighth trip around the sun and embark on my seventy-ninth. Even I’m amazed at some of the stuff in my head.

For example, there’s death. Many people my age feel they are at their last rodeo (This winter alone, I’ve lost close to ten family members and friends). I’ve come to the conclusion that death can’t be all that bad. I’ve known a bunch of people who’ve died, and none came back. Not a single one was the type who would stay someplace if they weren’t having a good time. I’ve done some research on people who have gone on and miraculously returned. Most, if not all, of them passed over again. Now, would you go back to someplace where you didn’t have a good time?

Then there’s the other question. When I get to the gate, will they let me in? I believe I can’t lose. If I am allowed in, I’ll have all the dogs I’ve ever known waiting. I’m not so sure about some of the people I’ve known. On the other hand, if I’m cast down to the other place, I won’t be bored–I’ll be too busy shaking hands and hugging people that I hung out with.

I’ve already mentioned blowing snow. Has anyone out there who uses one of these cursed machines noticed that no matter what, the wind always blows at you? Every time I do the drive I understand where the inspiration for Frosty, The Snowman came from.

On a more serious note. You may notice that I did not say writing. Last month, the publisher of my last two books returned the rights to them to me. Since then, I submitted the third novel in my Houston & Bouchard series to my other publisher. The publisher of them has, by contract, the right of first refusal for sixty days. I sent the manuscript to them and waited. No reply, either way. After 60 days, I sent an email telling them that I assumed there was no interest and that I would be submitting elsewhere. No reply. The other publisher (who returned the rights) informed me that he was changing to a hybrid publishing model. I was unfamiliar with what that was, and he explained. “It’s where the author shares the expense of publication. For instance, I would need you to pay $4,000 for me to publish your book,” I replied, “I haven’t made that much money on the total royalties of both.” So, now I have to find another publisher or self-publish. I am not looking forward to the whole agent/publisher thing. What I know about self-publishing you could shove up an ant’s hind end, and it would rattle like an iron ball in an empty boxcar.

So, what was that section about? Inside my head, I’m asking: “Why bother?” I worked in hi-tech for over forty years, and those companies had no retirement plan. They had stock options, and we were all going to retire with millions of dollars. Then all of them went out of business or were bought out by a company that would not honor the options. If it were not for social security and a VA pension (I am rated 80% for type 2 diabetes–thank you, Agent Orange–and PTSD–all of you who thought I was a bit mentally imbalanced were right). I’d be pushing a stolen grocery cart and living under an overpass (located much further south than here). Thus far in my not-so-illustrious writing career, I’ve spent more than I’ve ever earned. Every day is an internal struggle. Do I continue on or just say F— it and move on? Kaitlyn’s post a bout phishing emails, AI-generated, was terrific. Just this morning I received four. All were deleted. One, however, was different. It supposedly came from a published author, which she was. We corresponded for a couple of days, then I got the sales pitch (carefully hidden to look like she was offering help). She has a friend who does PR and promotion. Did I want her put me in touch with her? I responded: “It will do no good. I am not in a financial position to take on anything more.” I’ve not heard from her since.

In closing, what I really wanted to write about was the last item. I am considering throwing in the towel. Memberships to writing organizations, running back and forth across the state, buying copies of my books to sell (I am my own best customer) has me seriously thinking about giving it up.

See you next month?

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Writing Tip Wednesday – How to Write a Fight Scene

Kate Flora (from a panel I did at a conference a few years ago)

So You Want to Write a Fight Scene?

Some things to consider when you embark on this task:

  • What role does the fight play in your book? Not just in the particular scene, but in the overall book?

–how it is used to develop your plot?

–what does it do to enhance or complicate your characters?

Visualize the scene before you write it.

–what does the setting look like and how will the setting and items located in it enhance the scene you’re writing?

–where will your characters stand, how will they move, how will you make it vivid in your reader’s mind?

–Is your choreography logical?

     3)  Consider how you will use your words to enhance the scene.

            –use verbs which will reflect the tension and violence of the scene

            –make your sentences fragmented and choppy.

–connect the emotions of your reader to the emotions in the scene. Use that inner narrative to convey fear, anger, pain, strategizing, the consequences of failure, etc. Make the scene stand for more than simply what is happening in the moment.

     4) What if you’ve never been in a fight?

–Read (do we really need to tell you this?) and choose scenes you think are particularly effective. Then write them out by hand in your special notebook. Seriously—writing things, rather than copying or typing, helps to embed the structure of the words, the rhythm and pacing of the scene, in a way that nothing else does.

–watch movies with good fight scenes, with pauses and repeats, to see what actually happens.

–be obnoxious with your family and friends and ask them if they’ve ever been in a fight. Then make them tell you about it. Here’s what you’ll probably discover: that often, in the moment, things happen so fast people rarely know what is happening to them. Reflection is after the fact. So you will remember this if you scene is sudden and explosive—think tunnel vision. It will be different if this is a longer scene where your character is fighting for his or her life.

And remember: Someone who posts a comment on one of our blogs this month will win a bundle of books.

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Never Forget that This is Supposed to be FUN

Kate Flora: Sometimes, this writer gets sick of staring at the screen, writing words, erasing them, doing global search and replace to be sure the character’s names are spelled consistently, and searching for those words I leave out and don’t see. Sometimes then I sneak a chocolate from the hidden box of Valentine chocolates I bought on sale. And when I’m sick of eating chocolate and it is not yet late enough in the day for a proper daughter of New England to give herself over to drink, I do the indoor, writerly equivalent of going out to play.

I close the WIP, pull up my friend Gracie, and let her go have an adventure. Grace Christian is a somewhat wayward US Marshal who first appeared several years ago in a story published by Level Best Books called “Gracie Walks the Plank.”Gracie has voice and Gracie has attitude. She’s a true badass and it’s fun to see what she’ll think and say. After “Gracie Walks the Plank,” I wrote a second Gracie story about a battered wife and jewel heist called “All that Glitters.” Then, just for fun, because she’s a vacation from my other characters, I wrote “A Hole Near Her Heart,” and then Entitlements.” In a recent bout of playing hooky from quotas, I wrote “Black Widower.” I am gradually turning all the stories, plus more, into an entire Gracie novel.

Here’s Gracie:

Gracie Walks the Plank

The sound of a car door slamming brought Grace to the window. The car that had crunched up her gravel drive and now sat in a cloud of settling golden dust was new. Clean and dark and, until the dust finished coating it, shiny. It fit in this neighborhood of rust-blossomed double-wides like feathers on a turtle. The man who got out didn’t fit either. He was as clean and dark and shiny as the car. Wearing a suit, for sh#t’s sake, on a 95 degree day.

She stubbed out her breakfast cigarette in the butt-choked ashtray and checked to see if she was fit for company. Exiled to this crap job, she paid little attention to her appearance. The ratty housecoat was held together with a rusting safety pin, its once tropical colors as faded as her childhood dreams. Bare toes on the grubby brown carpet still wore traces of girlish pink polish, a color the little Vietnamese girl at the salon had called Blushing Dawn. Her unbrushed  mahogany hair was wrapped with the twist tie from a bread bag. She hadn’t yet put on a bra and her breasts bobbled gently under the thin cotton. The only touch of elegance was a diamond necklace, grand enough for a queen, heavy on her throat as the hand of God.

As the Suit’s demanding fist rose and fell against the tin can’s flimsy door, Grace wrapped a colorful Indian scarf—dots, not feathers—around her neck and padded across the room.

“Who’s there and what do you want?” Her voice, unused yet today, poured like honey over gravel. Billy used to say she had a big voice for such a small woman. Big enough to fill clubs, that much she knew. Big enough to make complete strangers cry. She wouldn’t mind making this man cry.

 All That Glitters

 Sometimes she just had to get out of the office. That’s just how it was. Ex-military and six years with the Marshal’s Service, Gracie was trained to conform. She could walk the walk and talk the talk, knot her tie and shine her shoes with the best of them. She knew shit from Shinola and she could pick the bad guy out of a crowd like nobody’s business. But once in a while, the urge to misbehave overtook her. Little stuff, like wanting to slam a jelly donut up against a wall full of wanted posters or put a fart cushion on some uptight asshole’s chair. Draw her gun at an inappropriate time and caress the barrel like it was someone’s precious dick. Stuff that could escalate if she didn’t tamp it down.

When it got so bad that she was, like the guy in the Elvis song, ‘itching like a man on a fuzzy tree,’ she’d leave the office, come out here to the park, and sit on a bench. Brick wall behind her to cover her back. And the whole roiling mass of humanity before her, doing its awkward human things. Spring drew people to the park like a picnic drew ants. Drew them in exuberant hordes, people who’d peeled down and were displaying swaths of bare skin to the sun’s warmth.

 So here’s a question for other writers: Do you ever escape from your works in progress and just go write playful stories? Dark stories? Poetry? Essays?

 

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Amateur Hour

Being laid up with the knee, I’ve had a ton of time to watch the Olympics, which put me in mind of this piece from a while back. Hope you don’t mind a rerun.

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In 1985, David Halberstam wrote a small lovely book called The Amateurs, chronicling the work and sacrifice of four American Olympic-class scullers. Given the subaqueous profile of their sport, none of these athletes had any prospect of extrinsic reward. Even Olympic medals are not real gold. The achievable end of their physical pain and dedication was exquisitely symbolic. So why did otherwise intelligent and ambitious people endure indifference, ignorance, daily pain, and all the markers of stalled –out personal and professional lives? For love.

Love, to love, amare, is the Latin root of amateur. And doing something for its own sake, not for profit or attention or glory of others, is the mark of a lover. An amateur craves the gift of the activity more than the outcome and the activity is somehow purified by the lack of reward. Amateurs do it, whatever they do, for the love.

I like my work, even the boring and tedious parts, and can lose myself in it with joy, but I’ve never enjoyed publicizing, selling, “branding” myself in the hope of more success. I’d rather spend the time being a writer than an author. Which leads me to suspect I might be an eternal amateur.

I come to the state honestly.

Mark Twain once said: “When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”

From the time I established myself, my work and my passions, as separate from my father’s, I’ve appreciated the truth in that. But knowing how sons push back at what our fathers stand for, I’m surprised to see how much I resemble the man I pushed against so hard when I was a boy.

The year my parents marriage turned fifty, I took my father striped bass fishing off of Cape Cod. I knew he’d been to the Orvis School for fly-casting instruction the year before but I didn’t know how much had taken.

As I feared, watching the fly line whistle back and forth, a weighted Clouser once or twice conking our guide, he hadn’t learned much. But we were deep in a school of bass and I was too busy with my own gear to pay much attention to what was going on aft, except I was aware of the flailing and some mild curses, his, not the guide’s.

“Ha!” I heard finally and turned to look.

Terry, the guide, was helping him gingerly unhook a toothy but very small bluefish.

“Got the little bastard.”

“Emphasis on the little,” I jabbed.

But the beatific smile beneath his red ball cap was enough to warm the cold windy ride back to Plymouth. He’d come to his fishing day without expectation of reward and been pleased. And that day I learned that being an eternal amateur was an honorable legacy, that not having to be an expert at everything meant not needing more and bigger successes every time.

If amateurism is rooted in love, it also springs from a passionate curiosity. One of my best friends built a national consulting business around athletic shoes: manufacture, styles and trends, financial and corporate analyses of the companies that make and sell them. It’s a serious business, even if it doesn’t sound like one – he’s been called the Sneaker King – and he’s the preeminent expert in his niche. He traveled a lot, found the work consuming and interesting, and it made him plenty of money.

So why, on Thursday afternoons, does he drive to a rickety white house on the edge of a university campus and broadcast a volunteer radio show presenting funk music? Passion – he may be an amateur in  the music and the radio ‘businesses,’ but he’s passionate about the music, curious about its history, its players, development.

I bring all this up because at eighty-six my father, the erstwhile fisherman, taught himself American Sign Language. For no particular reason – he didn’t want to stand up in front of his church and translate the service for members of his congregation. He hadn’t made new friends who were deaf. He wasn’t simply keeping himself busy: he had water aerobics, the food committee, the woodshop. He was doing it for the best of all reasons – he got curious about it.

As anyone who’s lived to eighty-six knows, curiosity doesn’t kill any cats – if anything, it feeds them. If anything, it’s certainty that kills things.

As a society, we revere specialty. We respect what appears to be a deep expertise in almost anything: business, financial, athletic, even romantic. But that kind of monomania requires certainty – you must always know you are on the right path, that nothing outside the path is interesting or can contribute to achieving your goals.

Curiosity is the dead opposite of certainty. It is the acknowledgement there are things we don’t already know that might be important, useful, or even just interesting. Curiosity is fed by that attitude of perpetual amateurism: what happens if I do it this way? Why is this like that? Why do we have to think this way?

Certainty takes things and people for granted. Curiosity is the daughter of doubt. We could use a little doubt, a little less certainty we know everything we need to know.

There is, after all, only one important certainty, that we die. When and what happens after, who knows? And who cares, really? And this thing we should be so certain of is the one thing we pretend will not happen to us. That itself is a strong enough argument against too much certainty.

So if we’re uncertain about what we ought to be certain of, maybe we also show too much certainty around things we cannot or should not pretend are knowable: relationships, politics, religion.

A politician is always a fat dumb easy target, but most politics is nothing more than certainty carried to a ridiculous degree, when even an individual’s positions can become mutually exclusive. Our politicians are certain evolution is a hoax, that old white men know best what women should do with their bodies, that homosexuality is an abomination (unless their son or daughter comes out).

All this certainty makes me yearn for a citizen legislature again, underpaid, supported by its own work outside the body. As messy and inefficient as it is – and I’ve seen the New Hampshire one at work, so I know – can our current governing bodies claim more success? Maybe amateurism can return some joy to the process – letting people with passion serve, the curious, the open-minded. Let’s bring back that perpetual amateur: in love with the work for its own sake, the process and the product, competent without being narrow, curious for what he or she knows and, most especially, does not.

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Weekend Update: February 21-22, 2026

Next week at Maine Crime Writers there will be posts by Dick Cass (Monday), Kate Flora (Tuesday), Vaughn Hardacker (Thursday) and Matt Cost (Friday), with a writing tip from Kate Flora on Wednesday.

In the news department, here’s what’s happening with some of us who blog regularly at Maine Crime Writers:

From Kathy Lynn Emerson: I have a guest blog up at the website of historical mystery writers Mary Reed and Eric Mayer. Click here to read.

 Think you’d be awesome at teaching a Master Class at this year’s 2026 New England Crime Bake? The Crime Bake Committee is accepting proposals. You can fill out a form on the link provided here, as well as check out other conference information. The committee doesn’t promise that everyone who makes a proposal will teach a Master Class, but they also draw from the pool of proposals for panelists at the conference, which is Nov.  6-8 in Dedham, Mass. this year.

Kate Flora:  I’m excited to announce that The Big Book of Romance, in which I have a story, will be promoted as part of a special sale on @Smashwords to celebrate Read an Ebook Week from March 1 – March 7. Be sure to follow me for more updates and links to the promotion for my books and many more! #ebookweek26 #Smashwords.

You will find the promo here starting on March 1, so save the link:
https://www.smashwords.com/sale

Also from Kate: I’m looking for a few beta readers for the 12th book in my Thea Kozak series. Use the contact info below, and thanks!

An invitation to readers of this blog: Do you have news relating to Maine, Crime, or Writing? We’d love to hear from you. Just comment below to share.

And a reminder: If your library, school, or organization is looking for a speaker, we are often available to talk about the writing process, research, where we get our ideas, and other mysteries of the business, along with the very popular “Making a Mystery” with audience participation, and “Casting Call: How We Staff Our Mysteries.” We also do programs on Zoom. Contact Kate Flora

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The author question I never get – it surprises me, yet doesn’t

Authors can expect certain questions at events, whether it’s a table at an author fair or a library presentation or a book group: Where do you get your ideas? How long does it take you to write a book? Do you read/like/know Paul Doiron? Can we talk about Paul Doiron instead of you? No problem! Everyone loves Paul!

But there’s one question that in more than 10 years of author events I’ve only gotten half a dozen times, and most of those have been in the past year. It’s one that, at first, I expected to hear much more often, but then got used to the fact it wasn’t going to come up.

In 2010, the same week that I completed my first mystery novel, Cold Hard News, [or thought I had], I was diagnosed with ADHD [attention deficit hyperactivity disorder]. It was a relief. It explained a lot about the previous 49 years. I also realized that it explained a lot about the protagonist — why she behaved the way she did. Behavior that to me seemed normal, but I knew wasn’t to a lot of the rest of the world, even before my diagnosis. Despite advice from some who thought it was not a good idea [more on that in a minute], I revised the manuscript to give my protagonist Bernadette “Bernie” O’Dea ADHD.

I didn’t want to hit readers over the head with it, but the revision accomplished a few things. It explained some of Bernie’s behavior. It was also a good forum to educate people about a misunderstood disorder. Also, the next time an agent asked my what my hook was, I’d have one instead of sitting there in slack-jawed beffudlement for several very very long seconds as she looked at me with growing disgust. Not that that ever happened! One thing about ADHD that people may not know, is that when you get hit with a question that’s not part of the script in your head, it can cause mental paralysis. This is often taken by the person asking the question as recalcitrance or idiocy, but it’s just the brain trying to get on a different track.

In any case, I worked hard to get Bernie’s diagnosis into the narrative without preaching or turning the book into a boring public service announcement. After all, it’s not a book about ADHD, it’s a mystery novel with a main character who has it. I also didn’t want it to seem like a gratuitous “here’s the protagonist’s required flaw!” element.

I prepared myself to talk about it with agents, publishers and readers. It’s not something, actually, that I wanted to out myself on. As much as I like to talk [ADHD!], that’s not something I really wanted to talk about. Even now, nearly 16 years after diagnosis, I still had second thoughts about making it a topic in this blog.

As far as the book went, I shouldn’t have worried. No one asked about it or mentioned it. At all.

Cold Hard News was published in 2015, and about a year after that, someone at a book group asked me why I gave Bernie ADHD and how I did the research. It was the first time anyone brought it up. My response was that she has it because it helps with character development, as far as some of the pickles Bernie gets into. And research? “I have it myself.” That was met with an uncomfortable silence. I started to elaborate a little on research and rewriting the character, but I’d lost the room. Someone quickly asked me another question — probably if I knew when the next Paul Doiron book was coming out. That’s a joke. I can’t really blame ADHD for my sense of humor. Or maybe I can. In any case, someone asked a question far, far from the topic of ADHD.

It was years before it came up again. It’s funny, because people are excited about talking about PTSD, which secondary protagonist Pete has. The fire chief, a military veteran, also has it, but it’s much less a part of the story. I did extensive research on first responders with PTSD, since I wanted to be authentic and not gratuitous. Readers love to talk about it. But ADHD? No thank you!

The reaction I sometimes get when I say I have it is similar to the reaction, if I had to guess, that you’d get if you confessed to being busted for shoplifting or got caught picking your nose. People seem embarrassed for me. They murmur some polite response and change the subject. While this has changed a little over the years, I think that it makes people uncomfortable because they know little about it. What they do know isn’t something they really want to know and it’s usually not accurate. There’s a lot of skepticism about ADHD, particularly when the person who has it is an adult.

Way back when I decided to make it the hook in my books, those well-meaning people who advised against it probably felt it would be gimmicky or drag the book down because of misguided beliefs about it.

It’s funny how people are often very happy to criticize and express their frustration about Bernie, but don’t acknowledge that some of the behavior that they don’t like is explained by ADHD. Not excused, mind you. But explained. For instance, most poeple recognized an impulse for what it is. If you have ADHD, however, you may ask yourself [like Bernie sometimes does] “Is this impulsive?” You think about it. You decide it’s not. You do it. The next day, or even sooner, you’re asking yourself “What the f*** was I thinking?” [For full translation of “f***” you’ll have ot read the books.]

By the way, she is NOT me. This is also something readers are happy to argue with me about, but I think I know myself better than someone I just met at an author event who’s read my book and never talked to me in my life. Just saying.

But back to Bernie. I tell people that yes, she can be frustrating, but if she were a perfect person the books would be pretty boring. It’s a little frustrating to me — something I don’t say at author events, but just between you and me, friend — that some readers ignore all the writing that makes her behavior an explainable part of the narrative. I try hard to write so that things make sense, to give actions and behavior of all the characters some context, but there’s a point when you can’t hit people over the head with things, or the book is just going to suck.

I’ve never regretted adding the ADHD angle to my books. Not because it’s a gimmick that sells book. It’s not. — no one is hailing me as the great ADHD author, that I know of. I’m happy with it because it fills out the character and is a springboard for behavior that can help drive the plot. Also, for readers who are paying attention, it may help them understand ADHD, and even help them relate to some of the diagnosed and undiagnosed people in their lives better.

Recently, I’m getting asked about it more.

Last summer, during a library presentation, a “retired physician” man told me I’d gotten it all wrong. Not only her behvior, but kids grow out of it. Excuse me? I’m used to deflecting mansplaining of my books, and I didn’t really want to go off track from what was a structured presentation about writing craft, but this was a little too much. As politly as I could [seriously!] I told him that knowledge about ADHD was constantly evolving and it’s been quite a while since they thought kids “grew out of it” and adults couldn’t have it. What I didn’t say was that if he’d read the book semi-closely, he would’ve learned that by the time you’re an adult with ADHD, you’ve learned strategies more or less to manage. Also, people are individuals. There’s no one-size-fits-all way to have ADHD or any other disorder. I gently [honest!] made it clear that since I was an adult living with ADHD, I could vouch for my character’s behavior as being authentic. I will say that the audience, made up of mostly women, seemed to be on my side. He got the benefit of me addressing him as “Doctor” every time he asked a question after that. Which was many. Maybe he just liked being called Doctor.

I was also asked about it at two other events in the past year. At those, the person who wasked, and others as well, were were excited about engaging in conversation about it. At least one of the questioners had ADHD. She said she found the book authentic and was glad someone was advocating for it.

One of my biggest goals as a writer is to entertain. I also want to say something, not only about ADHD, but about the world in general. I want readers to ask about the things I’m saying in my books and share what their takeaways are. I’m happy to talk about any aspect of my books. Hopefully, as we continue to be more open about discussing mental health, readers will be more eager to discuss ADHD.

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