Now that another Labor day is past, most of us are slowly getting back to work and school. But in Eastport, Maine, there’s still one more big bash left to enjoy – the Pirate Festival. And while last weekend’s Salmon Festival was fairly civilized, just one word characterizes next weekend’s celebration: Arrgh!

From the invasion of Lubec through swordfights and cannon lessons, the pirate ship races, the mock trials of infamous sea-going scoundrels, the pirate pet parade (with parrots!) and of course the pirates’ ball, Eastport gets swarmed over by more eye-patched and peg-legged pirate wanna-be’s than you can shake a cutlass at.

Even I, not generally a fan of rowdy loudness, have fallen in love with a hat sporting an embroidered skull and crossbones and the legend ‘prepare to be boarded!’ Of course, the fact that it’s a pale pink baseball cap mutes much of the sentiment…just not all of it. I’d show a picture of it here but that would give people too much warning of my true intentions, I think.

Lest we forget, real-life piracy wasn’t much fun. There was sea-sickness for one thing, and scurvy for another, not to mention walking the plank. And I don’t guess what you had to do to get one of those peg-legs, hooks, or patched eye sockets was very enjoyable, either. In Eastport next weekend, though, we’ll have all the thrills and laughter – but none of the pain – that comes with being a dirty rotten scoundrel of the seas.

A criminal, in fact. And after that –

Well, after that it’s back to just writing about crime. Which in my own opinion is even more fun; you don’t need an eye patch, a cutlass, or a squawking parrot, and only every couple of years or so are you in danger of walking the plank.