Vaughn C. Hardacker

It has been a long time since I posted a blog, and I think my prolonged absence has contributed to my inability to write much. For quite a while, my muse seems to be on sabbatical. I’m hoping that this post, which is intended to (I hope) get me back into a writing routine. So here is my excuse(s)–as we all know, excuses always sound good to those who make them.

As many of you know, I live In Stockholm in Aroostook County (halfway between nowhere and even less). As a resident of Maine’s northernmost county, I am always asked what it is like living here. I usually reply: “It’s not so bad … we have nine months of winter (September through May) and three months (June, July, and August) to prepare for it. I also live in a house that is almost one-hundred-twenty-five years old. Here’s a sample of what my three months of preparation have been like.

As I stated, my house was built in 1900 before modern-day materials such as pressure-treated wood and lumber were not planed as they are today. For example, when you

332 Main Street
Stockholm, Maine

purchase a 2X4 piece of lumber, it is, in reality, about 1 3/4″ by 3 1/2″. In 1900, it was unplaned and 2″ by 4″. What does this have to do with anything? There is a farmer’s porch (the house used to be a boarding house when Stockholm was a growing lumber town–picture a bunch of old timers sitting on the porch watching the trains come and go) on the house, and 1/3 of it was so rotten that you could crumble the wood with your hands! In the above picture, it was the section on the right. For several years now, I spent my winters waiting for the roof to collapse. Last year, I decided to do something about it. I contacted several carpenters and asked for bids to replace the rot and firm the porch. I got quotes of $53,000.00 and $12,000.00, and one contractor said, “I’ll have a bid for you in two weeks.” (We’re still waiting for that bid). The point is to save money. We have mixed 1900-era lumber with 2000-era lumber, and due to the differences cited above, I need to plane the boards to level the deck and remove trip hazards (or I can put up signs requesting that people lift their feet when walking rather than shuffling them).

Last November, my partner Jane and I were at a dance at the VFW; she still smokes and goes outside for a cigarette. When she returned, she was accompanied by a man about my age (better known as an old fart). “This is Phil,” she said, “he’s willing to look at the porch and give us a quote.” To get to the point, Phil and I met in the spring, and he looked at the porch. He said, “If you want to work with me, I can save you some money.” I replied that was my intention all along. He then gave me his requirements “I charge $50.00 an hour. I’m 75 years old and only work 4 or 5 hours a day. You purchase the material. I think we can do this in two weeks, depending on what we find when we get underneath.” We agreed.

Phil showed up every morning around 6:00 AM and worked until 11:00 AM. After he left, I worked all afternoon cleaning up all the old rotten material and running to the lumber yard for materials. I’m not a spring chicken anymore, and by evening, I hurt in places I didn’t know existed! I have to mention what it was like working with Phil… It was like working with me. He’d moan and argue with himself and curse and sputter when things didn’t go well. He kept apologizing and telling me he wasn’t upset with me or my lack of carpentry skills. It is just his way of venting and dealing with frustration. I laughed and told him the truth: “I do the same thing … I tend to hold myself to standards that God can’t keep! I was married to my late wife for 35 years, and I had an hour commute one way to work. Many a time when I was upset with Connie, I’d practice my argument while I drove through Boston traffic (people must have thought I was a potential serial killer as I talked and yelled at no one as I drove). That commute probably saved my marriage. By the time I arrived home, I’d said everything I wanted to say and was argued out. Result? No argument at home. Phil and I are soul mates in that regard.

Ultimately, when we finished the job, it cost me less than $5,000.00. That is how the first two weeks of June went. A week ago, Jane decided she wanted an above-ground pool. At Walmart, she found one that was listed as an 18-foot pool and purchased it. I assumed it wouldn’t be too bad. Our yard is as level as the sand dunes in the Sahara Desert after a wind storm. So, we ordered three yards of sand to level off an area to put the pool. I measured an area based on a circumference of 18 feet, and we spent a day and a half spreading the sand to make the ground level. Then we put the pool together. A circumference of 18 feet would have a diameter of 18 divided by pi (3.14). Well, the pool diameter was 18 feet! A circle with an 18-foot diameter has a circumference of 18 times pi! Or approximately 56.55 feet! Guess what I’m doing for the rest of the summer.

I have promised Jane that she’ll be able to use it next summer!

July 10, 2024 Addendum.

Our 18′ Pool!

The pool is finished! It is up, level, and filled with water! The photo to the left is proof. We can finish the landscaping at our leisure, maybe next summer. After all, pool season in The County is July and August. We own the largest ice cube in Aroostook County from September through June. Who says there’s nothing to do up here in the County?