If there is a part of writing that gives me fits it’s POV, aka point of view. I can’t count the times that an editor or first reader has returned a manuscript with the notation POV!! written across several pages. I’ve always struggled with it and truth be known I still do. That said, I decided to do a blog on POV and how to avoid conflicts in it.

Once the first draft is completed and I enter the rewrite or self-edit phase of a project. I have a checklist of things that I look for; some of the items are: Show and tell, characterization and exposition, and, of course, Point of View. I find that I have to discipline myself to go through the manuscript several times, keying in on a different item each time.

In the show and tell pass I try to identify scenes or passages that are narrative summary with no specific setting or characters. In a court of law tell equals hearsay evidence. It’s the difference between getting a second hand report vs being at the scene. I try to follow the R. U. E. Rule. R. U. E=Resist the Urge To Explain.

When keying in on characterization and exposition I have always believed that there is no need to go into a great deal of detail in describing my characters . . . the reader will form an image of the character that usually relates to some aspect of the character that reminds them of someone. For example, Ian Fleming could spend three pages describing James Bond, but to me he’ll always look like Sean Connery. However, it is probably a good idea to provide the reader with enough specific details to help them capture the essence of the character. It is preferable to use exposition to gradually reveal a character’s personality versus an information dump. In short, introduce your characters in the same way they meet people–gradual discovery. I also strive for believable and a realistic characters. I have a friend who will not read my work; she doesn’t like my usage of profanity in dialogue (I received a review from a reader who said: I received this book as a goodreads giveaway. I couldn’t finish it because of all the swearing. What I did get through was intense and I didn’t want to put it down. But if a book has more swearing than a PG-13 movie is allowed then I don’t want to read it.) I’ve never met a criminal type whose vocabulary was PG-13.

Finally, the POV pass. I write in third person (the three forms of POV are: first person, third person, and omniscient) which allows me to easily move from character to character. First person restricts the reader to a single point of view, omniscient is not written from inside anyone’s head–it reached its most extreme form in the nineteenth century: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”–it was not uncommon for the author to address the reader directly.

For the longest time I had a problem with shifting POV within a paragraph or scene. I have had to discipline myself to change the scene when I want to change POV. By establishing whose POV we’re reading early in a scene gets the reader involved. It is probably best to establish POV in the first paragraph of a scene–ideally in the first sentence–to orient the reader.

In their book SELF-EDITING FOR FICTION WRITERS (Quill/Harper Resource, © 1993) Renni Browne and Dave King present a POV Checklist:

  • Which point of view are you using and why? How much intimacy do you want to create between your readers and your characters? Which point of view will make it easiest for you to unfold your story?
  • If you’re writing in first person, how reader-friendly is your viewpoint character? Is it someone you would want to spend three or four hundred pages with?
  • If you’re writing in third person, take a look at each scene. Whose head are you in? Do you stay in that head for the length of the scene?
  • How soon do you establish point of view? Where in the scene is the first line that tells your readers unambiguously whose head they are in?
  • Are you writing your scenes in your characters’ voices, describing their surroundings in terms they would use? Do you want to write in your characters’ voices or do you want something more neutral, more distant, more unobtrusive?

Probably the most important reason for watching POV closely: constant POV shifts can confuse a reader and keep them from finishing your book and from buying the next one.

In closing. In a little over two months My Brother’s Keeper, the second of my Ed Traynor crime/thriller will be released.

Coming July 2, 2019


About Vaughn C. Hardacker

Vaughn C. Hardacker has published seven novels and numerous short stories. He is a member of the New England Chapter of the Mystery Writers of America, Maine Writers & Publishers Alliance, and the International Thriller writers. Three times he has been a finalist in the Maine Literary Awards Crime Fiction category, SNIPER in 2015, THE FISHERMAN in 2016, and WENDIGO for the 2018 award. The second installment of his Ed Traynor series, MY BROTHER'S KEEPER, was released in July 2019 and is available through all major booksellers. A signed copy can be ordered directly from Vaughn ( RIPPED OFF is his most recently published crime/thriller, it was released on January 25, 2023 by Encircle Publications. He is a veteran of the U. S. Marines and served in Vietnam. He holds degrees from Northern Maine Technical College, the University of Maine and Southern New Hampshire University. He lives in Stockholm, Maine.
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4 Responses to SELF-EDITING: P. O. V.

  1. Vaughn…a great reminder. And thanks for mentioning the Browne and King book. It’s a good one and I need to reread it, as I’m being accused of telling, not showing. And we both share the problem of characters who swear. I sometime know I’ve gotten past the civilian vs. cop barrier when the officer becomes comfortable enough to swear. I know that when I review a manuscript, I am always writing POV in the margin, because head jumping makes me, as a reader, quite crazy.

    Good post!


    • Thanks Kate. Use of profanity is a fine line. At what point does using it for character development become overkill and tedious? Only the reader can decide. Like anything else, if it doesn’t move the story forward don’t use it. It’s like you once said in regard to sex scenes, “write it all and then take out 90%.”

  2. Crystal Lyn Toller says:

    I found it interesting that you mentioned a reader who does not like swearing in books. I am another reader who is the same. I also will stop watching a show if there is too much swearing. I was recently trying to watch a show on Netflix but because of the endless cursing in the show, I stopped watching it. I understand that certain characters are people who swear, but nothing turns me off more than excessive swearing in a book, show, movie, etc. I just don’t believe it is necessary to curse all the time and I really don’t want to read it or watch it. Enjoyed your post otherwise, though.

  3. I agree. Over usage of profanity takes away the shock value. There are people, some of whom I know, who use it so much that they aren’t aware of it. It does get wearisome.

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