Authors can expect certain questions at events, whether it’s a table at an author fair or a library presentation or a book group: Where do you get your ideas? How long does it take you to write a book? Do you read/like/know Paul Doiron? Can we talk about Paul Doiron instead of you? No problem! Everyone loves Paul!

But there’s one question that in more than 10 years of author events I’ve only gotten half a dozen times, and most of those have been in the past year. It’s one that, at first, I expected to hear much more often, but then got used to the fact it wasn’t going to come up.

In 2010, the same week that I completed my first mystery novel, Cold Hard News, [or thought I had], I was diagnosed with ADHD [attention deficit hyperactivity disorder]. It was a relief. It explained a lot about the previous 49 years. I also realized that it explained a lot about the protagonist — why she behaved the way she did. Behavior that to me seemed normal, but I knew wasn’t to a lot of the rest of the world, even before my diagnosis. Despite advice from some who thought it was not a good idea [more on that in a minute], I revised the manuscript to give my protagonist Bernadette “Bernie” O’Dea ADHD.

I didn’t want to hit readers over the head with it, but the revision accomplished a few things. It explained some of Bernie’s behavior. It was also a good forum to educate people about a misunderstood disorder. Also, the next time an agent asked my what my hook was, I’d have one instead of sitting there in slack-jawed beffudlement for several very very long seconds as she looked at me with growing disgust. Not that that ever happened! One thing about ADHD that people may not know, is that when you get hit with a question that’s not part of the script in your head, it can cause mental paralysis. This is often taken by the person asking the question as recalcitrance or idiocy, but it’s just the brain trying to get on a different track.

In any case, I worked hard to get Bernie’s diagnosis into the narrative without preaching or turning the book into a boring public service announcement. After all, it’s not a book about ADHD, it’s a mystery novel with a main character who has it. I also didn’t want it to seem like a gratuitous “here’s the protagonist’s required flaw!” element.

I prepared myself to talk about it with agents, publishers and readers. It’s not something, actually, that I wanted to out myself on. As much as I like to talk [ADHD!], that’s not something I really wanted to talk about. Even now, nearly 16 years after diagnosis, I still had second thoughts about making it a topic in this blog.

As far as the book went, I shouldn’t have worried. No one asked about it or mentioned it. At all.

Cold Hard News was published in 2015, and about a year after that, someone at a book group asked me why I gave Bernie ADHD and how I did the research. It was the first time anyone brought it up. My response was that she has it because it helps with character development, as far as some of the pickles Bernie gets into. And research? “I have it myself.” That was met with an uncomfortable silence. I started to elaborate a little on research and rewriting the character, but I’d lost the room. Someone quickly asked me another question — probably if I knew when the next Paul Doiron book was coming out. That’s a joke. I can’t really blame ADHD for my sense of humor. Or maybe I can. In any case, someone asked a question far, far from the topic of ADHD.

It was years before it came up again. It’s funny, because people are excited about talking about PTSD, which secondary protagonist Pete has. The fire chief, a military veteran, also has it, but it’s much less a part of the story. I did extensive research on first responders with PTSD, since I wanted to be authentic and not gratuitous. Readers love to talk about it. But ADHD? No thank you!

The reaction I sometimes get when I say I have it is similar to the reaction, if I had to guess, that you’d get if you confessed to being busted for shoplifting or got caught picking your nose. People seem embarrassed for me. They murmur some polite response and change the subject. While this has changed a little over the years, I think that it makes people uncomfortable because they know little about it. What they do know isn’t something they really want to know and it’s usually not accurate. There’s a lot of skepticism about ADHD, particularly when the person who has it is an adult.

Way back when I decided to make it the hook in my books, those well-meaning people who advised against it probably felt it would be gimmicky or drag the book down because of misguided beliefs about it.

It’s funny how people are often very happy to criticize and express their frustration about Bernie, but don’t acknowledge that some of the behavior that they don’t like is explained by ADHD. Not excused, mind you. But explained. For instance, most poeple recognized an impulse for what it is. If you have ADHD, however, you may ask yourself [like Bernie sometimes does] “Is this impulsive?” You think about it. You decide it’s not. You do it. The next day, or even sooner, you’re asking yourself “What the f*** was I thinking?” [For full translation of “f***” you’ll have ot read the books.]

By the way, she is NOT me. This is also something readers are happy to argue with me about, but I think I know myself better than someone I just met at an author event who’s read my book and never talked to me in my life. Just saying.

But back to Bernie. I tell people that yes, she can be frustrating, but if she were a perfect person the books would be pretty boring. It’s a little frustrating to me — something I don’t say at author events, but just between you and me, friend — that some readers ignore all the writing that makes her behavior an explainable part of the narrative. I try hard to write so that things make sense, to give actions and behavior of all the characters some context, but there’s a point when you can’t hit people over the head with things, or the book is just going to suck.

I’ve never regretted adding the ADHD angle to my books. Not because it’s a gimmick that sells book. It’s not. — no one is hailing me as the great ADHD author, that I know of. I’m happy with it because it fills out the character and is a springboard for behavior that can help drive the plot. Also, for readers who are paying attention, it may help them understand ADHD, and even help them relate to some of the diagnosed and undiagnosed people in their lives better.

Recently, I’m getting asked about it more.

Last summer, during a library presentation, a “retired physician” man told me I’d gotten it all wrong. Not only her behvior, but kids grow out of it. Excuse me? I’m used to deflecting mansplaining of my books, and I didn’t really want to go off track from what was a structured presentation about writing craft, but this was a little too much. As politly as I could [seriously!] I told him that knowledge about ADHD was constantly evolving and it’s been quite a while since they thought kids “grew out of it” and adults couldn’t have it. What I didn’t say was that if he’d read the book semi-closely, he would’ve learned that by the time you’re an adult with ADHD, you’ve learned strategies more or less to manage. Also, people are individuals. There’s no one-size-fits-all way to have ADHD or any other disorder. I gently [honest!] made it clear that since I was an adult living with ADHD, I could vouch for my character’s behavior as being authentic. I will say that the audience, made up of mostly women, seemed to be on my side. He got the benefit of me addressing him as “Doctor” every time he asked a question after that. Which was many. Maybe he just liked being called Doctor.

I was also asked about it at two other events in the past year. At those, the person who wasked, and others as well, were were excited about engaging in conversation about it. At least one of the questioners had ADHD. She said she found the book authentic and was glad someone was advocating for it.

One of my biggest goals as a writer is to entertain. I also want to say something, not only about ADHD, but about the world in general. I want readers to ask about the things I’m saying in my books and share what their takeaways are. I’m happy to talk about any aspect of my books. Hopefully, as we continue to be more open about discussing mental health, readers will be more eager to discuss ADHD.