So Nice I Wrote it Twice

Hi, I’m Sarah Graves and I’m still a Maine mystery writer, just as I was a year ago when this post first appeared. I’m reprising it now because, well, it’s August in Maine, and that’s when the relatives descend — especially this year, when everywhere else is so hot that folks will do anything for a cool, salt breeze.

They descend on me because I live in Eastport, a tiny island town about as far downeast as you can get without invading Canada. This is where I write the Home Repair is Homicide series of mysteries starring Jacobia Tiptree, an amateur old-house repair enthusiast and reluctant sleuth. Jake’s an ex-Wall-Street money manager whose wealthy clients were so crooked, their limousines should’ve been flying the Jolly Roger, and in her newest book, DEAD LEVEL, she thinks she’s buried her unsavory past. But we know what happens when people think that, don’t we?

Anyway, back to this blog: it occurs to me that some readers here might be mystery-writers, too. But are you a Maine mystery writer? After all, writing in Maine is for the most part like writing anywhere else: you just stare at a blank screen until drops of blood pop out of your forehead and fall to the keyboard. And location alone isn’t enough, is it? There are “Maine writers” who are really NYC-ers, for instance, and vice versa. So in case you’re unsure about whether you’re really one of us, here are some signs. You might be a Maine mystery writer – or as we say around here, crime writer —  if:

1. You routinely drive 300 miles or more for book-signing events; extra credit if your vehicle is repaired with Bondo and/or silver duct tape.

2. The drinks at your publication parties are Moxie and Allen’s Coffee Brandy (bonus points if you mix them).

3. You write best on a diet of lobster rolls, “chowdah,” and blueberry pie (add points for moose stew, salt fish dinner, or smoked salmon on a stick; double points if you salted the fish).

4. When people ask if you’re “right out straight” working on the new book, you reply “Ayuh.” (But you’re not past deadline, so you don’t feel too “spleeny” about it.)

5. Nine months out of twelve, your writing-buddy is a propane gadget named Mr. Heater. For a woodstove or pellet stove, award yourself high honors.

6. Your books are reviewed in the island newspapers, Working Waterfront and Quoddy Tides. (Special credit for mention in Uncle Henry’s.)

7. You deduct a wool hat, a red-and-black plaid wool jacket, and fingerless gloves as “office equipment.”

8. Your overnight “express” mail takes three days.

9. The theme music for Murder, She Wrote makes you break out in hives. (Extra credit for anaphylactic shock.)

10. You’d rather lose a body part than your internet connection. To keep your email access, it can be an important body part; you are, after all, way out here in the puckerbrush.

And there you have it! These are just a few of the ways you can be pretty certain that you’re a real Maine mystery writer (or crime writer!); I’m sure my colleagues on this blog have even more and better ones to suggest. But if you can say ‘that’s me!’ to most of the points above, you could be a member of the club – so wipe the blood droplets off your keyboard, please, and write us up another one of those wicked good Maine mysteries.


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3 Responses to So Nice I Wrote it Twice

  1. lil Gluckstern says:

    Big smiles over here. I live in California now, but I know New England winters, although I’m not a Mainah. I love the tax deductible jacket and mitts.

  2. Mike Orenduff says:

    Do I qualify as a Maine Crime Writer if I understand all that stuff? It’s been seventeen years since I left Maine, but I still make “chowdah” and blueberry pies, although the big plump blueberries grown here in Georgia don’t taste as good as the small wild ones in Maine. And don’t even mention the weather this time of year.

  3. Brian Tingle says:

    Hi, Sarah. In early August, my wife and I spent 7 days in your little town, staying with friends a few houses away from you there on Key Street. We just loved the Eastport area. And, I bought my first Home Repair is Homicide book at S.L. Wadsworth on Water St. What a great little shop; I can understand why you like to hang out there and buy your home repair items, too.

    I really enjoyed “Tool and Die” and am searching our local used bookstores here on the left coast of America for more of the series. We’re already planning a return trip to Eastport for the summer of 2013 so maybe I could get a chance to meet you at a book signing at Wadsworth’s, or just somewhere in town. Gotta have a chance to try a Moxie with the locals; you game? I also travel with some good Single Malt Scotch…..

    I look forward to reading more of your books over the coming winter and next year (thankfully, our winters here in southern Oregon aren’t as brutal as yours!). I’ll enjoy sitting on the sofa with the wool afghan over me and our tortoise-shell kitty, Snickers, on my lap as I read more of Jake Tiptree’s adventures.

    Thanks for sharing your writing talents and little “tales” about Eastport with us.


    Ashland, OR

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