I’m going to ask a slightly personal question. One that I’ve been thinking about a lot.

When was the last time you really, deeply listened to somebody else?

Lately, I’ve been doing it a lot. Most recently, I held listening sessions for a wonderful small community in Maine that, like many other communities across the region, is facing significant changes within the next few years.

Change is not always bad.

But it is usually hard.

I asked questions like: What are your hopes and dreams for children in your community? What skills, knowledge, and traits do you believe are important? What are some things your community does really well that you want to continue to invest in? What are some things you believe your community should invest in more?

During these sessions ten to twelve community members took turns responding. I listened, wrote down what I heard, and repeated the themes that emerged. We had a few simple rules. Center children. Phones off and away. And wait your turn in the speaking order.

At the end of my last session, which went thirty minutes over the allotted time, one man hung back. At the beginning of the conversation, he was upset. He felt there was an agenda. One he wasn’t part of. But as he listened to others and as others listened to him, his demeanor changed. He expressed real concerns and shared things in the community he valued. As his tension eased, so did the tenor of the conversation. By the end, the group was joking and laughing together.

As I was packing up my chart paper and getting ready for the long, dark, rainy drive back to Portland, he said, “I feel really good right now. We should do stuff like this more often.”

I left feeling deeply hopeful.

And deeply sad.

The loneliness epidemic that we are grappling with now is not new. Robert Putnam wrote extensively about this in his 2000 book BOWLING ALONE. In it, he chronicled the decline in American community and connectedness.

Fortunately, there are things we can do. They just take effort and attention.

There are a great many studies that show the simple act of listening to other people, when there is a shared community value – like children and learning – has significant benefits that include reduced stress, lowered blood pressure, improved mental health, reduced loneliness, boosted self esteem, and increased empathy.

Listening is a strategy marketing teams and people in leadership have been leveraging for years. Take the 70/30 Rule. To goal is simple. The other person talks 70% of the time. You listen actively, paraphrase, and ask follow-up questions 30% of the time. This strategy prevents you from jumping to solutions before you have an understanding of the real needs and root causes of an issue while building trust and connection.

As a parent, I often employ a strategy I like to call “The Captive Audience.” It’s simple. You sit in the car with your child for a 20-30 minute stretch with no music. No technology. Just you and your kid and the open road. Usually, at around the twelve minute mark, my son will say something. Usually it’s a question. Usually I answer by saying something like, “Hmmm,” (insert long pause here). “That’s a really good question. I have to think about it. What do you think?”

And then we’re off.

So what does listening have to do with writing?

Reading is a way to connect, to feel heard and seen and understood. Good books communicate values, ideas, questions, and characters that help us see the world more clearly. And by extension, help us see ourselves in a new light.

Listening can help writers develop an “inner ear” about cadence and vocabulary. It can allow writers to empathize with characters. It also deepens the ability to integrate subtext and ambiguity.

And then, of course, there is the inspiration.

Every writer has borrowed a snippet of a conversation from a corner store or airport or crowded bar. So if you take nothing else away from this, always be mindful of what you say in public.

You never know if it’ll end up in somebody’s book.

What I’ve got going on

Big news. My story “Beautiful, Dangerous Things” was selected for inclusion in the Best American Mystery and Suspense of 2026 edited by Megan Abbott and Steph Cha.

I just found out about another acceptance to Alfred Hitchcock Mystery Magazine for the September/October issue for the second of my Portland PI stories. That brings my run to: “Generous Strike Zone” in AHMM (March/April),  “The Best and Sweetest Things” in EQMM (May/June), “A Well Worn Path” in EQMM (July/August), and “We, the Aging” in AHMM (Sept/Oct).

I was invited to the Edgars in NYC thanks to Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine Readers Award. I had a great time, saw some old friends, and am really very grateful. I wore a fancy red suit and saw some great friends. (Me and Kate Hohl.)

There is nothing quite like seeing Times Square lit up at night with the rain coming down and all sorts of people from all sorts of places brushing shoulders and taking pictures.

Talk soon. Be well. And let me know what’s up with you.