Lea Wait here. As the years roll by I suspect we all have our lists of things we’d like to do. Our “bucket lists,” as the movie called them. The most organized of us have even written them down. (“Spend New Year’s Eve in Paris.” check. “Finish reading War and Peace.” check.) I’ll admit … I’m one of those people who make resolutions (I call them goals) at the beginning of each year. In my most organized years I even broke them down by quarters, and by months.
Was I able to cross off those goals? Usually – some of them. And reading them over during the year did help me focus on what was really important.
When my children were still children, one of our family jokes were my repeated bits of wisdom. One of those they particularly hated was “keep your options open.” I basically meant … even if you hate your job/guy/class/place/boss … don’t diss it (or them). You never know when for some reason having made a graceful exit will help you out. I also meant “don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.” Maybe you really WILL hate fried octopus. But if you haven’t tasted it … how will you really know? Be brave.
OK. I still believe those things. (Within reason on the “try everything” list. My kids got me on that one a couple of times. No, I didn’t mean try every drug on the street or surf Big Sur the first time you’re on a surf board.)
But I digress.
Back to those years rolling by. At this point in my life I know there are some things I have never done – and don’t need to do. No, I’m not including major career choices (although I’ll never be a surgeon or maestro or ballerina, true). But there are some things I’m very happy to announce will never be on my list of “have dones.” Some I’ve contemplated in the past, some I never have. But – at this point – realism has set in. There are too many other things I want to do, and too little time remaining, to worry about these.
For example: here are things I’ve never done, never will do – and don’t care.
– sky dived or parachute jumped or bungee jumped. (There’s a theme here.)
– attended a bull-fight.
– gotten a tattoo.
– done jello shots.
– owned a motorcycle.
– driven a shift car. Successfully. (OK – should have learned; tried once. I’m not worrying about it anymore.)
– learned plumbing or wiring or roofing, even for my own abode. (Paint, wallpaper, building a bookcase – those are more my speed.)
– been a waitress or flight attendant or joined the military. (admittedly, age is an issue for 2 of these occupations, and knowing how many things I drop in my own kitchen – at this point the world is safer with my finding jobs other than waitressing should I seek out paid employment)
– mud-wrestled.
– sexted anyone.
– pierced anything on my body other than my ears.
– eaten anything that is still alive.
– run in a marathon. (I fantasize sometimes, and have decided this is one fantasy that even Walt Disney couldn’t make happen.)
– hunted either birds or animals. (Or people, for that matter. Law enforcement, public or private, I’ll do vicariously, thank you very much, through my books.)
– earned a pilot’s license. (A fantasy of youth.)
– skied water or down-hill. And at this point I guess I should add cross-country.
– ridden on a roller coaster.
– bred parakeets. (Another dream of childhood.)
– cultivated a large enough garden to “live off the land.”
– read every book in the library. (My goal in second grade. Some days I wonder whether I’ll even read my way through every book in my to-be-read bookcases.)
I could keep going, but, instead, I’ll throw the question out to you. What have you never done … and never will do?
Kait Carson
Charlene D’Avanzo 
We have a lot in common on the things we’ve never done nor want to do!
Agreed on many of the same things, though I’ll never drive an automatic unless my clutch foot gives up–more likely my knee will. Off my bucket list:
~finish War And Peace
~live in Florida
~worry about having a nice lawn, a gorgeous body, or perfect hair
~walk a tightrope or become a hobo (childhood threats when my mom was mean to me)
~write the Great American Novel, whatever that is.
All makes sense to me, Nikki! Reality says … we can’t do everything … and, truth be told — it doesn’t matter! Have a Happy 2019!
Ah, reading all the books in the library. That was my goal, too! Skiing (downhill, water and cross-country) have check marks on my list, as well as driving a stick shift, riding a roller coaster (when I was much younger, these days roller coasters do not hold any appeal) and successfully doing some basic plumbing (my family was in that business).
Here’s a Maine one: I’ve climbed Mount Katahdin (multiple times) but never hiked across the Knife Edge, and that is okay with me.
Happy new year, Lea and all!
Love hearing about your adventures! My family was not an outdoors one (except for some gardening,) so I missed out on a lot of those things — but it’s OK. Glad to hear you did them! Lea
These sound like some of my never done, never wanted to choices! I would still like to see an autopsy, as I wanted to be a medical examiner. Still would like to get my books finished and published. Still would like to live in Cornwall, in a small cottage. Things I don’t care to do: go to Japan, get a tattoo. I’m sure there are more things on the never-do list, but I cannot think of them right now!
I have done very little traveling — and most was connected to work, so I didn’t really experience the city or country I was in. I’m sorry about that. (One of my daughters told me when she was here for the holidays that I “worked too much. You were always working. You didn’t play with us when we were kids.” And she was probably right. And I’m still working most of the time. But sometimes there are reasons to work ….and I’m glad she doesn’t feel some the needs I did, and do.
Love your words of wisdom- I’ve used them myself. Running a marathon is now unlikely, and I discovered to my chagrin when trying to get to the top of Mt Fugi that the vertigo that runs in the family makes it difficult to remain upright, so reaching the peaks is not on the list anymore. But I’d still like to go on a cruise other than on a grey hull would be nice. Happy New Year, Lea!
I took my mother on a cruise (to Alaska) and then on a one-week tour of the state. I’ll admit — it was difficult, because my mother really wanted to go, but should have gone years before, when she was stronger. But I agree, it’s something to have done (even though I enjoyed the land portion of the experience more that twiddling my thumbs, reading, and looking out at water …. Hope you get to cruise — soon!
When I turned sixty, I was briefly sad that I’d never been a rebel or a motorcycle outlaw. Having a wicked past might give me more to draw on in writing. But these days I am working on contentment and trying to embrace the concept of having fun. And reminding myself to, as Baba Ram Das told us, “Be here now.” Be present. Enjoy the moment. Great questions today, Lea.
Kate
Excellent goals …..!
Good morning ,Lea. Your list sounds pretty good to me. I have couple other things I have never done and never will. Own a snake as a pet.(we do have a bearded dragon tho),go over Niagara Falls in a barrel,run away from home and join the circus(although that could be fun),play in the snow barefooted in my swimsuit(not too much chance of that seeing as I live just outside of Houston Texas). No kidding aside,you and your family have a safe and happy new year. May it be the best year you’ve ever had. God bless.
Your list sounds … sane! Which is good. (Once I had a gecko as a pet, but he didn’t last too long, sadly. No snakes. And barefoot in the snow? Too close a possibility to be tempting! Happy New Year!
I not only know how to drive a stick shift, I taught both of my sons to drive a stick shift! And I actually read War and Peace in Russian! The penalty for being a Russian major in college! LOL Other than that, we have a lot in common. Happy New Year!
I love your list and how eloquently you defined it! I have never participated in the polar dip, or a dogsled race, or ran with the bulls,or been in a submarine,or been on a cruise, owned an exotic pet, nor have I been to China. However, skydiving and the Eiffel tower and Big Ben are on my bucket list!
Happy New Years sweet lady!
You are amazing. Let’s see, never jumped out of a plane and never will unless it is the only choice. Never will I pierce anything other than my ears. Never will I go on a Caribbean cruise or go to Egypt or any of the dessert countries, or any of the beachy island places (dont like water or heat or sand). I sure hope you have a fabulous New Year!! You are amazing
I know the feeling! I actually have checked off a few on your list: drove many shift cars, skied downhill (twice) and cross-country a lot, which I hope to continue, did jello shots, completed a marathon (once), rewired some lights, very nearly lived off the produce I grew. Now I acknowledge I will never trek in Nepal – or probably even visit it, or India or China, either. Right now my bucket list is staying healthy so I live long enough to meet and play with grandchildren. Taking Hugh to Italy and Paris. Cleaning out my basement (snort). Happy New Year!
I don’t think I have done any of those things other than driving a stick shift and skiing (badly). I also learned to do telephone wiring as a student. Happy New Year – my goals are more art and less cleaning.